Be careful how you praise your child's artwork… You could actually damage their self-esteem!

I know it sounds strange, but over praising your child's artwork can actually hinder the development of positive self-esteem rather than support it.

Just as you would tend to become suspicious of a friends' motives if they were constantly praising everything you did, "Ooh I love you hair and your clothes and your house and your kids and your husband!!!!"… Your child will quickly disbelieve your sincerity if you are constantly saying "Oh you're a fantastic artist, I could never do as well as you!"

Being an artist I have a great interest in my children's art. I found myself constantly telling my daughter what a fantastic artist she was and how she would probably end up to be a much greater artist than me. Surely that couldn't hurt her, to tell her that?! After all it's true and it encourages her to aim high right?

Well it never really dawned on me that this could be a problem until my son started drawing. Being three years younger it took awhile before he started to get good enough for her to consider him competition. But then one day he got bigger.

She started asking, "Am I a better drawer than Fisher? Mine is a lot better right? Who's art do you like better, Fisher's or mine?"

This behavior worried me because I wanted her to be confident in her artwork and I didn't want her to feel she was in competition with anyone, especially her brother.

I also worried about how it made her brother feel. Being smaller he was already 'behind in skills' as far as he was concerned, so he really didn't need his sister always talking about how much better she was.

So how do you encourage your child to continue creating art without over doing the praise and causing self-esteem issues?

Well after reading several articles, parenting books and magazines I have discovered it is more important to admire the development of skills instead of the work itself.

Try saying things like, "I like the way you used the side of your crayon to get texture in your drawing. I've noticed you are adding more detail to your drawings than you used to. I like the way the dog looks like he's smiling in your picture."

An article I read today called "How can praise be negative?" is an excellent article on exactly this issue of over praising your child. Take a moment and read it. It has some great ideas that may help you give your child the type of praise that will build his self-esteem instead of tearing it down.

By the way, I've noticed a big difference in the way my children see themselves and their artwork since handling the praise I give them a little differently. Maybe it will work for you too!